Transkei – BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

The hidden wilderness. The magic island. Whatever you choose to call it, Transkei is just jaw dropping beauty, and an experience I have to recommend to everyone. I visited Coffee Bay over New Years last year, as most of the ‘tourist’ activities, parties and general good times happen there over the festive season.

Coffee Bay itself is freakishly easy on the eye. The valleys of fresh vegetation go on for miles, and you get to experience the full magnificence of your surroundings as soon as you peel yourself off your sticky car seat, and set foot onto some genuine Transkei mud (it's a long trip, trust me). Wow! It takes a few seconds to come to terms with just how incredible this rural wilderness is. Everyone knows accommodation is vital, and luckily Coffee Bay offers a few gnarly camp sites to choose from. There’s Bomvu and Coffee Shack. And if you’re feeling lavish there’s always the Coffee Bay Hotel- what a pleasure.

Warning: Approach the Coffee Bay experience with an open mind. It’s not everywhere you get offered shrooms every five minutes by ten year old children. Either embrace it, or block it out, your choice. The beaches are stunning, the water is warm, and the crayfish are delicious. A winning combination. A place such as this wouldn’t be the same without its festival atmosphere, and it doesn’t disappoint. The party kicks in as the sun sets, and the vibe doesn’t stop. Believe me, it’s crazy.

Here’s a couple of do’s and don’ts in Coffee Bay.

Do take shrooms on a remote beach with mates and enjoy yourself.
But don't get in your car and pretend it’s a space shuttle- you will drive off a cliff and hurt yourself, severely!

Do dance and party in a river. It’s fun, I know.
Don’t decide to dance and party in a river with massive blisters and cuts on your feet, the water is probably infected and your foot will have to be amputated. Just kidding. However you may very well contract a nasty infection, resulting in an uncomfortable situation involving a man from Umtata, a Tetanus shot and your arse. Avoid!

Do sleep in a tent. It's safe and the weather is perfect for camping.
Don’t think you'll be safe if it’s pitched in the middle of nowhere- this isn't Switzerland- so be wary.

Apart from those ‘minor potential mishaps’ Coffee Bay is a wonderful place to enjoy a vacation. Good food, pleasant accommodation and activities that will keep you constantly busy throughout your stay. Enjoy.

Tintin Smashes The Sevens

The annual Nadoes Sevens cricket tournament rolled around again this past weekend, and it was nothing short of an extravaganza. Hosted, of course by the immaculate Pinelands Cricket Club, I decided this would be the ideal opportunity to get the old willow out, and smash a few balls around the park. The morning started especially early ( 9:00am) and I wasn’t completely up to it as the night before ended in a trip to my namesake, Tinners- what a treat was had by all. Anyway I dusted off the booz that was reeking out of me, and headed to the field.

After a glorious exhibition of power hitting throughout the day, the eight teams that entered the tournament, along with the awe- inspiring supporters, retired to the clubhouse for some post match festivities. The clubhouse was packed as the dollies were rife, a real delight on the eyes I must add. Wow, they were pushing it! Bottles of Ramazotti were thrown around during prize giving, beers were downed at a scary rate, and the ladies were creaming. All in all it was a very festive atmosphere out there. What followed can only be described as DISCO HEAT.

By this stage my eyes resembled something of piss holes in the snow, and my vision was blurred to a point of no return. Fuck it, let’s line up another twenty Ramazotti’s and smoke two more beers. At this point it was becoming extremely difficult to talk to Captain Hadders, as he was also past the point of no return, and his speech was noticeably impaired. Basically we were fucked- along with everyone else. Good times.

Nadoes to me is something special, it’s completely nuts, but in the best kind of way. I think the vibe can be summed up by a female who attended the- ‘highlight of her life’ and dug every second of it. “ I wish I was a boy and played for the Nadoes”- true statement released on Facebook the following morning. Enough said!

Manchester United v Liverpool- The Atmosphere.

One word- hate. It separates every British football supporter from one another. And to add fuel to the fire, they have to share the same stadium, week in and week out. Just the thought of it is scary. No stadium in the world is big enough to house two different sets of supporters, that when it comes down to the nitty gritty, will kill for their heroes. Yes, you heard me- murder. Put that pride, passion and sheer stupidity in a stadium together and you’ve got yourself an earth-shattering atmosphere.

I recently had the privilege of catching the football spectacle that is Manchester United versus Liverpool. There is nothing bigger. This is it, the ultimate showdown on the football calendar. These players are absolutely the best on show, they are the best of their trade, and they are on display for all to see.

Because of the occasion, Supersport decided to leave out the pre-match in-studio analysis, and instead cut straight to live scenes from Old Trafford in Manchester. The atmosphere was electric. Constant screaming from the Liverpool supporters was drowned out unceremoniously by the United supporters again and again. The hatred was boiling over, and the air was filled with excitement. United’s fans proudly waving their favourite scarves in the air, letting all the traveling Liverpudlians know exactly where they were. The profanities were flaring and the gestures flying, as the build-up reached boiling point before the players stepped out. It’s not often you see a child throwing a middle finger across the stadium directed to the Liverpool fans, promptly followed by a high five from his father. The deafening noise continued throughout the game, and if anyone there thought that their voice would not be damaged after the ninety minutes, they were sadly mistaken.

The element that sets this contest- with its atmosphere, players and supporters- apart from anything else, is the history. So deep and rich, the history of the Manchester-Liverpool rivalry can not be matched. These players have grown up throughout their lives with one thing that is very clear: to detest the opposition and all they stand for. These athletes have been competing since their childhood years. And they know, on the professional arena, they will do battle once again for everyone to enjoy.

Something that can sum up exactly what this derby stands for are the captain's of the respective teams. Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), and Gary Neville (United). The camera’s cut to the tunnel where the two teams lined up before they took to the field. Captains up front, leading their respective sides into battle. There was a small hold-up so the teams stood side by side for at least five minutes. Gerrard and Neville did not even acknowledge that the other man was there. For the entire duration of the time they stared straight ahead, focused on the inevitable battle that was about to ensue. Superhuman concentration, chest- bursting pride, undeniable hatred and talent to burn. This was something special.

Regrettably I have not experienced this main event live, but I’d like to think that one day I’ll have the honour.




.

Wat van die STOORRMERS!!

Wow I hope the boys can pull off a massive win this weekend. Lets’ keep the momentum steaming through the Super 14. Camaaaan!!

I mean, I hate the Cheetahs, the best thing they have accomplished since rugby started is transferring big Duane Vermeulen to the Stormers. Thanks Bloem, go ride another Harley. I mean what kind of self respecting rugby team runs out to the sound of 20 Harley Davidsons revving there engines. Are we common, or are we Cheetahs?

Speaking of Duane, I think he's standing up and deserves a little chat from P Divvy. He is colossal week in and week out and when he's not knocking three people backwards in the tackle he's crashing over for a try. Legend. Hope he gets the call up.

Knocking people out sounds familiar though, oh yes, Sereli! Sorry Cory Jane, next time mate, you just got rolled by a massive Fijian splif. I'm guessing no Tiger for you last week either.

Hope Tim Whitehead does well on his debut, there isn't a more deserving player in my mind, and I can't wait to see him step up to the Super Rugby level.

Fuck what an epic encounter. We smoked the Canes now lets show these Bloemfontein poppies how to play rugga. STOOORRMERS!! (Can't wait to see these brandy-loving Harley romantics shed a tear after the game)

New Zealand Beer Festival

New Zealand Beer Festival: Keg

Fall in love again. Well on first impression im going to have to say that seeing a fat guy hugging a keg does not get my love juices flowing, and doesn’t make me feel like I want to fall in love. I mean, I love beer don’t get me wrong, but with a fat guy attached, not so much. I feel like I need to steal that keg away from him, maybe that’s a bit aggressive, but still, at least it makes me want to drink beer, and if I was in New Zealand I would probably visit this festival.




I think it’s a stylish visual, but on a whole for me the entire campaign hinges on the graphics, which completely outperform the idea by far. The idea could be a little more clever and inventive, I mean come on, I don’t think this visual going to attract any women to this festival either. Funnily enough to me the people in the campaign don’t look like they are in love, they look like they’re tripping out, and mostly like hallucinating about the idea of getting drunk, or high, not sure. Either way its gets me thinking how desperate these characters look to be with their keg, beer bottle and jug- a little to desperate in my books.

It’s a beer festival though, and I would go there to drink copious amounts beer and alcohol, enjoy myself thoroughly, and probably fall in love. So, maybe it works? I can see the influence of the ‘Ghost’ touch in the ad, which has something to it, but not enough. Again I think the art work is amazing, but idea? Fat guy = fall in love, not in my day! Not even the day before Valentines Day.

If the objective was to achieve humour I’m not sold either, it might be funny to some, but not at all to me. Probably the best thing about the visual is the keg, which I actually do love! I think lots of beer drinkers will love the campaign, which is enough I suppose. A great ad, no. Pretty average actually.

Tintin heads to the Tens

The hype about the Cape Town Tens rugby festival was well marketed all throughout Cape Town since the beginning of the year so I was excited to get stuck in. Everyone wanted a piece of the action packed weekend as last year defied all expectations and was a resounding success. I think the way the Tens was marketed is testament to the skills of organisers Bob Skinstad (a good mate who I know is fully behind his brand) and Robbie Fleck. The team enlisted the help of Howard Kahn of Sports Network to head up the all important media and communications, who worked closely with Kreate, to continue to be the favoured portal of the world Tens community.

The vibe was hectic, and the Nadoes even more so. The Cape Town Tens girls looked steamy, but then again most of the girls did. Myself and Captain Haddock had a couple of ales before we arrived on Friday for the opening ceremony, so, naturally we arrived in the trusty hands of Snowy behind the wheel. Fortunately for us, our first fixture was cancelled due to the fact that Botswana Uni couldn't make there flight, or some such bullshit. So naturally, the okes got on the on beer train and after an eventful fines session with the Nadoes, myself and Hadders (Captain Haddock) were well smashed. Snowy, ofcourse, was the designated driver. What a champ! So we decided to hit the beer tent and get involved in the action.

There was a winning formula during the weekend, which satisfied everyones taste. The weekend promised many international superstars, a fun-filled weekend for the whole family, a good vibe and lots of beer and entertainment for the teams and independent visitors to the tournament.
If the organiser’s objective was to get people down to the Tens, throwing around international celebrities names and performers was definitely the right way to go about it. The beer was cheap, the entertainment awesome and the atmosphere electric! The beer tent was full of cheerful peeps the entire weekend, especially after nightfall where the usual suspects decided to push the boundaries and functions of the average liver...well mostly us!

Saturday rolled around as myself and Hadders rolled out of our respective beds!! Shit, Still drunk, but what can you do, theres a game at 1 and we got to be there! Nadoes played, won, and boozed hard after!! Stardard!! We watched the Stormers chuck a ball around against Boland at the new stadium, and promptly afterward decided to push it again. Saturday night was carnage, and well documented by Hadders! We were like blind retards walking thru the beer tent, having the time of our lives. When Hadders and me decide to get smoked theres no fucking around, shit gets hectic, that’s what we do!! Fuck me, Sunday morning- HELP!

I could'nt make our first fixture on Sunday because I was drunk, but its fine, the okes weren't bleak, they realised 9am was a pushing it time and we made it thru to the semi's anyway. Hadders decided to pack it in on Sunday so I was ace high, without the captain for Sundays’ adventure. After our quarter-final, which we lost unfortunately (we were definitely the better side) our main beer co-ordinater Uncle Hugh, decided it was time for one last fines session. Wow, did we relish it, the boys pushed through and Sunday at the Tens will never be the same. One word, Carnage. I ended up at Caprice with the legendary Tim Horan, Bob Skinstad and two very good mates. Chundering outside B.P, commandeering pies amongst other things were the agenda for the night. Last clear memory was sipping on ice cold vodka red bull provided kindly by the portoguese female chilling with us (good on you baby blanket). Great night, thumbs up.

Monday, not so good.

Rugby enthusiasts had rugby rugby rugby all weekend long, and quality rugger at that. The international side that competed put on a mesmerizing show for all the see, as they expressed their world class silky skills on the paddock. Maties once again came out triumphant (no vibe though!) as winners of the Premier division, and competed in a real top class final match against hosts Hammies.